Most LGBTQIA+ individuals have gone on a deeply personal journey to get to where they are today. For many of us we have experienced shame and had internal battles about how to be our true self in a world that isn’t always accepting of who we are. 

Given we spend around a third of our lives at work, our workplace needs to be a supportive and caring environment. For LGBTQIA+ individuals, this means going above and beyond the flags, hashtags, and media campaigns of “Pride Month”. As someone who has walked this path myself, I wanted to share my view of what true allyship from employers can look like. 

 The invisible shame many LGBTQIA+ individuals carry

 For years, I struggled with my own sexuality. Not because I didn’t know who I was, but because of the shame that was attached to my identity. Shame made me question my worth, my professionalism, my place in certain rooms in the workplace and beyond. I diluted my authenticity to be “acceptable” to others, and to avoid rejection.  

Setting my own personal journey aside, and turning to my professional work with clients, I have supported many LGBTQIA+ employees who have carried that same invisible weight, and the belief that they need to hide their true self. 

It has shown up as imposter syndrome at work and beyond, as hyper-vigilance in meetings, as self-censorship when colleagues talk about their families and partners, or where they went to socialise at the weekend. This is where employers can make a true difference.

 Moving beyond performative allyship

 In no way am I saying campaigns around Pride are not important, but often these can be a one time thing in support of Pride events across the summer months in the UK. They are a great starting point, but true inclusion goes far beyond that, and these are some ways I believe employers can be allies to the LGBTQIA+ community and provide immeasurable support in the workplace. 

1. Normalise diverse narratives all year-round: Allow LGBTQIA+ employees to be more than just a ‘label’. Have them lead projects where their expertise is valued without their identity being treated as “diversity points.”
2. Make space for complexity: Not all LGBTQIA+ experiences are the same, listen to the nuances of your employees’ journeys.
3. Train managers deeply, not superficially: True allyship isn’t a short corporate training during Pride season. It is a skillset that requires empathy, ongoing learning, and vulnerability. 
4. Support mental health with real resources: The mental toll of unlearning shame is real. Ensure that your employee benefits and culture support healing, not just visibility.

 What helped me, and might help others

 For me, the most healing environments were the ones where:

• I didn’t feel pressure to “come out” in performative ways to prove my authenticity 
• I saw that LGBTQIA+ managers and leaders led with vulnerability themselves
• Mistakes were acknowledged without defensiveness when an employer got things wrong
• I had mentors who saw all of me — not just my LGBTQIA+ identity, but my skills, potential, and humanity

Employers have a unique opportunity to be part of that healing journey for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Not by speaking for us, but by creating environments where we can safely unlearn shame, show up fully as ourselves, no longer just trying to survive, but thriving.

 As an employer, I encourage you to ask yourself and your organisation these questions. 

1. Are you creating an environment where LGBTQIA+ employees can heal from shame?
2. Are you listening deeply to LGBTQIA+ employees or simply performing, just to ‘tick the box’?
3. What courageous conversations can you start in your organisation, not just during Pride month, but every month?

For LGBTQIA+ individuals, ‘Pride’ is about learning to love the parts of ourselves we were once taught to bury. My hope is that your organisation will be willing to be part of someone’s healing journey, where employees can stop hiding and apologising for who they are.