Every year, thousands of professionals earn their first management stripes — a moment often hailed as the gateway to leadership success. It’s an exciting shift, yes, but also one fraught with hidden traps. These newly minted managers are expected to hit the ground running, despite often being handed more ambiguity than actual guidance.
The result? Many fall victim to the same well-intentioned — but deeply flawed — beliefs about what good leadership looks like. These modern-day corporate fairy tales may sound empowering, but followed blindly, they can quietly sabotage your team, your credibility, and your career.
Fairy Tale #1: “Open Up,” they Said – When Being Vulnerable Backfires
Vulnerability is the buzzword du jour. You’ve heard it before to lead is to be open, emotionally available, and unafraid to show your human side. It sounds noble — and in moderation it is. But there’s a line. And new managers often don’t see it until they’ve crossed it.
Excessive emotional sharing can muddle professional boundaries and drain both the manager and their team. In fact, a recent study by the European Agency for Safety and Health at Work (EU-OSHA) found that 59% of workers in the EU identify emotional demands as a major stressor. “When leaders overshare or vent too freely, it can shift the emotional burden to their team — leaving employees feeling like armchair therapists instead of professionals,” Dr. Ryne Sherman says.
Leadership requires emotional intelligence, yes. But also emotional discipline. Vulnerability without regulation doesn’t build trust — it chips away at it.
Fairy Tale #2: The Authenticity Trap
“Just be yourself!” has become the modern rallying cry of leadership advice. But what if your “authentic self” is anxious, reactive, or just plain unfiltered? Authenticity — when misapplied — can backfire spectacularly. Being your authentic self means focusing on your own thoughts and desires without regard for others.
In leadership, that’s a problem. From a practical point of view, authenticity often becomes a licence for unchecked behaviour, when what teams actually need is consistency, clarity, and alignment. This disconnect may be contributing to Europe’s shockingly low employee engagement numbers — only 13% of workers feel engaged at work, according to a Gallup report.
“Strategic self-awareness, not just raw authenticity, is what separates good managers from great ones. You’re not leading a diary — you’re leading people,” Dr. Ryne Sherman comments.
Fairy Tale #3: Charisma is Great — Until It Isn’t
Charisma sells. It draws attention, energises rooms, and can fast-track you to leadership positions. But charisma isn’t a leadership strategy — and it certainly isn’t a substitute for actual competence.
A cross-European study led by the University of Lausanne found that over 60% of leaders rated high in charisma scored poorly in long-term team performance and clarity in decision-making. That’s a sobering stat, especially in high-stakes environments where overconfidence can quickly turn into overpromising — and underdelivering.
“The reality is that charisma often dazzles in the short term while masking deeper deficiencies in accountability, planning, and follow-through. It’s the leadership equivalent of fireworks: spectacular to watch, but gone in seconds,” Dr. Ryne Sherman analyses.
For new managers, the early days can feel like a tightrope walk between expectations and uncertainty. And while popular leadership advice may offer comfort, it rarely offers nuance. Vulnerability, authenticity, and charisma aren’t inherently bad — but blindly following them as gospel can derail more than just your reputation.
“So take a breath. Question the mantras. And remember: good leadership isn’t just about playing a part — it’s also about knowing which part not to play,” Dr. Ryne Sherman concludes
