In 2014, I found myself in Kirkuk (Iraq) as ISIS forces prepared to attack a city already hosting 400,000 refugees from previous assaults. The population had swelled to over one million, and we had to decide how, where and when to position our rapid response mechanism—humanitarian supplies including food, water, medicine, and emergency shelter—to help families who would inevitably need to flee.

 This was a high stakes situation, and you may think that in a Venn diagram of management experiences it’s unlikely there’ll be much overlap between my world and yours. But the core principles of leading people, making decisions under uncertainty, and aligning diverse expertise toward a common goal transcend the specific context, so consider this proposition: good management is good management, regardless of circumstances.  

 Teams Work Better with Psychological Safety

Psychological safety is the shared belief that team members can speak up, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of punishment. In Kirkuk, I embraced this and rather than make a unilateral decision, I turned to my team: the Kurdish military experts had ideas about likely evacuation routes; Iraqi security forces understood the local dynamics; our logistics coordinators knew the practical constraints of moving supplies quickly. By creating space for everyone to contribute without fear of being blamed if their suggestions proved wrong, we developed a positioning strategy that helped thousands of families when the attack came.

 Of course, the stakes are different for a business leader, but there is still the need to be highly attentive rather than dismissive. In practical terms, this means treating meetings as sacred time where people leave feeling fulfilled rather than drained. And, perhaps most importantly, psychological safety demands that we avoid the blame game when things go wrong. Instead of witch-hunting, we must approach problem-solving as a team sport, understanding together what contributed to issues so we can prevent them recurring.

 The Magic of the Pause

The neuroscience of leadership reveals something crucial: our ability to slow things down under pressure often determines our effectiveness. In stressful situations, our brains default to fight-or-flight responses that are highly reactive and emotional. It’s a natural, evolutionary response that works amazingly well when we need to flee a tiger or avoid falling rocks. However, it can be counterproductive when we are trying to make a rational decision.

 The leaders who excel—whether in humanitarian crises or business challenges—are those who master what I call the magic of the pause; slowing down often speeds up results. When leaders rush to judgment under pressure, they frequently create new problems that require even more time to resolve. Taking a moment to breathe, consult others, and think through implications usually leads to better decisions that stick.

 Stress is contagious, but so too is calmness. Leaders who maintain their composure create space for others to think clearly. In emergency response situations, the best outcomes invariably come from teams led by people who can stay calm under fire.

 Tame the Advice Monster

When I took my first senior leadership position in Nepal in 2010, I fell into a trap that catches many new leaders: believing my job was to have solutions to everyone’s problems. People would queue outside my office with challenges, and I’d work exhaustively to provide answers. Not only did this leave me with no time or energy for strategic work, but it was also counterproductive.

 The breakthrough came when I decided to ask people to come with potential solutions they’d developed, not just problems. Instead of giving advice, I started asking reflective questions to help them think through their options. The queues didn’t disappear, they actually grew longer. People felt empowered to take control of their situations and wanted to impress with their thinking. Yet, the quality of solutions improved dramatically, and paradoxically, I became more energised by coaching than the advice-giving I had been doing.

 This doesn’t mean never offering advice or making decisions; sometimes directive leadership is necessary. But in meetings, you can often add your thoughts while summarising all the different perspectives at the end, giving people space to think through implications.

 Businesses with leaders who embrace coaching approaches consistently report higher team engagement, better retention, and improved performance. When people work out solutions for themselves, they’re more committed to implementing them successfully.

 Master the Hard Skill of Compassion

Perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of effective leadership is compassion. Too often dismissed as “soft” management, compassion is actually one of the most demanding leadership capabilities. I define it as empathy plus kindness – understanding someone’s situation and acting on that understanding with genuine kindness, without expecting anything in return.

 The key phrase is “without expecting anything in return.” If you’re kind to a colleague heading for burnout because you want to keep them productive, that’s manipulation, not compassion. True kindness involves offering time off and covering their work because you genuinely care about their wellbeing. This distinction matters because people sense the difference, and authentic compassion builds trust in ways that disingenuous kindness never can.

 But compassion in leadership requires more than good intentions; it demands the courage to have difficult conversations when necessary. Avoiding tough conversations isn’t kind, it’s enabling. When someone continues making mistakes because no one has given them clear feedback, everyone suffers.

 True kindness can also involve what I call compassionate toughness – demonstrating care and support before and during difficult conversations, which makes those conversations more resilient and effective. When you need to provide challenging feedback, people are better prepared to receive it if they know it comes from genuine concern for their development. The combination of toughness and kindness creates conditions where people can grow without feeling attacked or diminished.

 Research across sectors consistently shows that kindness produces better business results, but it’s worth acknowledging that some individuals won’t respond positively regardless of how compassionate your approach. Toxic employees exist, and effective leaders need robust HR policies to address situations where kindness alone isn’t sufficient. The goal isn’t to be naive about human nature, but to lead with compassion as the default whilst maintaining clear boundaries and expectations.

Dr. Will Parks is the author of Graceful Leadership – Inspiring hope, creativity and resilience in times of peace and crisis’